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I am doing a very dangerous thing tonight. After a rough couple of days I am watching Eat Pray Love. Which means, I have an INTENSE desire to pack up, grab my man and travel the world for a year. I long to live in a slower paced society. One that knows how to take pleasure in things, to enjoy them deeply, I feel like we have lost that in America. We know how to be entertained, but we have forgotten how to take pleasure in things. 

That's all. 

Life in a Musicians World

It's Sunday afternoon and I am sitting in a coffee shop just up the street from CMA fest, where I just dropped Steve off to play his last CMA gig of the week. Today marks the 7th show he has played this week. As I sit here, waiting for the call to go pick him up I think about the life I find myself living. When I was in high school and all through college I said I wanted to end up with a musician, and if you asked anyone I knew they would have told you the same thing. It seemed so wonderful and exciting and somewhat "glamourous" in a poor musician, gypsy lifestyle sort of way. I remember saying, " I don't need money, just love of a boy who plays the guitar." There is some truth to that, but there is some hard lessons to learn in that statement as well.

Loving a musician isn't the easy path to choose. Is it wonderful? Is it worth every second? Yes. But it's also hard and discouraging at times and lonely at times (none of these things are Steve's fault, it's just part of the life.) 

There are late nights spent standing in the back of a smoky bar by yourself, surround by people who have clearly had to much to drink and watching a set you've seen and heard a hundred times. There are months where money and if there will be enough of it are what consumes his thoughts, and yours as well (even if your not married yet). There is fear of the future, will we ever be able to get married? Will there ever be steady income? Will I ever be able to be a stay at home mom? Will I have to be alone many nights while he is on the road? There is the acceptance that his guitar and good tone and amps and mics and all things music will always be his mistress. 

But there are so many wonderful things about this life. There is joy and pride in watching him take the stage and do what he does best and loves so much. There is laughter and more pride in hearing the people in that smoky bar rave about the blond guitar player and how great he is, knowing that, that is the man you love, and who loves you. There is a house filled with the warm sounds of a guitar or the smooth notes on a piano or a record spinning on the needle. There is adventure and faith. There is a whole deeper part of your relationship that comes with having complete faith that things will work out, that you are both in the hands of a good God and that he will not let your drown. There is those moments when you get to see his dream start to really unfold and take shape and times where you learn to comfort and encourage in the times it seems to be falling apart. 

It's not a life for everyone. It comes with many many ups and downs and struggles and triumphs and joy and pain, but I am so glad it's mine. I wouldn't trade a second of it. Not for anything. There have been and I am sure there will be many more people who disapprove or doubt this choice I've made and I can see their point in many ways. But to them I would reply " I was born for a life of adventure, and for a man who lives his dream as wild and crazy as it may be. This is the life I was born for, you see I really have no choice at all. How could I ever argue with the plan the Creator of the universe has written for me. How could I ever go after anything less. No, this is right where I am meant to be." Right in the middle of a love that is wild and deep and real living a life that is just the same....