I don't post on here nearly as much as I used to. And you know why? Because I over think what I should write about. And I'm over that. So I'm gonna just write. And it may be funny or it may not be. And it may have meaning or it may be rambling. But it will definitely be what's on my mind. Hope you're ready for it. Cause it starts now.
Lately my faith has seemed stagnant. I don't feel like I'm growing like I used to. And I absolutely know that's on me. And I also know that I get upset with myself about it so often. I want to be. I want to feel as close as I did in high school, or that summer I worked at Falls Creek. But I don't. I have started to rely on the fact that I know a lot about it all. That I was raised in the church, that I have felt close before, that I have grown before. But that's not enough. That's not how it works. I must have that desire to keep growing now. To need him so desperately every day. I want to be a woman of God and that means I must again daily chase after him. I must daily wake up and rely on him. I must daily talk with him, pray, listen, ask, be in the word. These are things I must daily do. And I have failed miserably these days.
I know that this feeling I have. This pain of feeling distant, is good. That it is Christ calling me back to himself. It's going to be a journey and it's one I cannot wait to make.
3 comments:
Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes! Me too!
PS If you haven't already, read Kelly Needham's latest blog post --hits home about this subject and really nailed it for me.
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