Thursday, December 16, 2010

..



Life is weird right now. Really weird. I don't feel like myself.
The honeymoon stage of living is Nashville is over, but the "home" stage hasn't come yet. I am in limbo.
I feel like a little kid, pretending to be this adult and it is the most terrifying feeling. I feel like I am floundering in every aspect of my life. Spiritually, relationally, career wise, everything. I know who I want to be, what I want to do, where I want to invest my time, yet I am not being or doing any of those things. My mind is a constant "junk drawer" (you know where you throw everything and it's a complete mess and no matter how hard you try you can make sense of it or organize it for any length of time). I am sure it shows in this blog post, it's kind of all over the place.
Mostly I feel lost. And I don't know where to start, and the joy in things is slipping away, and I don't want it to.

Father, you know my heart better than I do, You know my gifts and desires, and you know my tears. Make this life beautiful, clear out the junk drawer and fill it with you.

2 comments:

Sherah said...

He says it better then me, this is for you:
"The good news of the kingdom is not freedom from hardship, suffering, and loss. It is the news of a Redeemer who has come to rescue me from myself. His rescue produces change that fundamentally alters my response to these inescapable realities. The Redeemer turns rebels into disciples, fools into humble listeners. He makes cripples walk again. In him we can face life and respond with faith, love, and hope. And as he changes us, he allows us to be a part of what he is doing in the lives of others. As you respond to the Redeemer’s work in your life, you can learn to be an instrument in his hands."
— Paul David Tripp

I love you and praying for you everyday! The Lord takes us where we do not want to go, so that we can become who we could not imagine. <3

Mama said...

Sweetie, you WILL look back one day and see how God carried you through this time, and how He was "working all things for good". The quote that Sherah put on here is so perfect, and I believe so true. He is our rescuer and living in that reality is the only way to true peace and fulfillment -- even in the middle of hard stuff. Love you, angel!

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