It’s been one whole month since I got married to my best
friend. Our wedding day was truly a dream come true and every time I think
about it; I get a little misty eyed. There was so much love and support and joy
that day and I just bubble over with thankfulness and smiles. That day is over
now. It’s a part of the past and a memory that I will treasure forever. Since
then, we have gone on an incredible honeymoon to Cabo, come home to a house
full of boxes, unloaded some of those said boxes, gone back to work, cooked
meals, cleaned floors and began to learn what marriage is. I can tell you what
I have learned in my extensive time of being a wife.
It’s fun. It’s fun
living with your best friend, it’s fun setting up your own home, it’s fun
having the fridge all to yourself, and it’s fun not having to wear pants all
the time (sorry mom).
It’s safe. I have never felt so secure in Steve’s love for
me. I can unashamedly be myself and know that his love is there to stay. He can
see the ugly in me, the stubborn, the selfish and love me anyway. I can fall asleep
and feel safe with him beside me. I can face the uncertainty of the future and know
that I am safe with him by my side. There is such security in marriage.
It’s hard. Yep. I said it. It’s hard, really hard sometimes.
Even in just one month, being married has challenged me. I have seen things in
myself that I do not like. I have been grumpy, and irritable and selfish. I
have had to let go of the idea that marriage would take away all my worries or
sadness. It doesn’t. I still get sad, I
still struggle with the things I struggled with before. The difference is I can
now either let my husband walk along side me through them, to let him be my
teammate and support or I can hold them inside and let them slowly eat me
alive, let them slowly affect my home life. Because now, my struggles, worries,
fears, moods, are not just my own, they no longer affect only me. Through them
I can choose JOY and let my home and marriage be a place of safety and
encouragement and laughter and support or I can choose bitterness and walls and
let my home be a place of silence and fear and eventual resentment. The choice
is mine.
It’s humbling. There isn’t much more to say on that.
So there you have it, my big, huge revelations about
marriage.
