2010: A rearview mirror glance

I feel like I just did a post like this (my birthday post). So instead of looking back at 2010 again I want to look ahead. I spend too much time looking back, thinking "what if", wondering how things could have been, what I could have done different. I'm done. I'm leaving 2010 behind. Where it belongs.

In 2011 I want to:

Love. Love greatly, wildly, genersouly.

Dance. often. without fear

Live. in color. vibrant.

Create. daily.

Stop wasting time.

Immerse myself in what stirs my soul. where my passion is.

Dance till the stars come down from the rafters

There is something about dance.

Something that intrigues me.

It pulls me in.

It is such a beautiful art.

It is something I long to be able to do

To be able to display emotion, or a story without words.

There is also something very sexy about it.

Men, don't be fooled. It is not feminine to dance, it is not weak.

It is sexy.

It is attractive..

I think a "news years resolution" of mine will be to learn some form of dance. To take consistent lessons, until I am actually good. Yes, that is my first goal for 2011.

Dance.

90's flash back

I wonder if any of them look back at this and cry a little.

Or, if they see how truly awesome it was.

Seriously, where did those dance moves come from? Cause they are un.be.lievable.

{Crazy Love}

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I'll never get it.

But I can't help but want it.

Long for it.

Believe in it.

Maybe because, as a Christian, I am aware of and a part of the most intense, unexplainable love story in the history of mankind. I've experienced a love like this.

I want a love that's crazy, passionate, intense, wild, against all odds. I want a love that makes me lose my breath. I want to laugh till I can't breathe. I want to dance into the night.

The love I have felt, however twisted it has been, felt like that. It was exciting, wild. It may have ended in tears or hurt, but I would not trade it for anything.

Now I want to love like that and be loved like that in return.

You can tell me I'm being unrealistic. That not all love is like that. That it's not like a book, or a song, or movie. and that's fine. but I'll tell you now, I won't believe you. I can't. Not yet.

So maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Maybe I'm being unrealistic.

Or maybe not...

23

This year has been a big year for me. And while I will later get a little deeper, a little more reflective, and look ahead. Right now I want to remember some of the biggest, best things that 22 held for me

I made incredible new friends my senior year and had the best last spring break I could ask for.

We took a cruise. But mostly I just remember the laughter and wonderful friends I was with.

I saw the tree in New York

I moved to Nashville and made incredible new friends

I have gotten to see and live in the same town as some of my favorite musicians

I fell in love with soccer during the World Cup

I went to my last JBU student event with the best friends I could ask for

I graduated from college

I got to call Lisa Fury my best friend, and I miss her everyday

I was in charge of putting on a sold out show at my school,

and got to get to know the wonderful boys of Needtobreathe.

It's been a good year. A strange and hard year. A year I wouldn't trade for the world.

{GLB}

Just out of reach

"A woman who is full of tender mercy and soft vulnerability is a powerful, lovely woman." (Captivating)


I know the woman I want to be. I know what my dreams are.


They only seem so far away...I don't quite know how to reach them...I haven't found the things I need to give up...or perhaps I have and am denying what I know to be true.


And I can hear Him. He's calling me...


But again...I just can't quite get to Him.
.
.
.

I am P.U.S.H ing...."Praying Until Something Happens" ...because that's all I know to do right now.

Dreamy

I just think these boys are adorable. A. DORABLE.
I might have a tiny crush on each one of them.
If my husband wanted to look like any of them, that would be ok.

I've always loved Hugh Grant.

Secondhand Serenade. Kind of a tool in concert, but nice to look at.

I think it's the lip ring and tattoos. It's a weakness.

I don't know who this is. but I love his style.

Oh, Joseph Gordon-Levitt....sigh...if only you were about 5 inches taller..

Hugh Dancy. Swoon. Enough said

Andrew Belle may be one of the most adorable boys in the world.

And his music isn't bad either

Well, there it is.

Ladies, enjoy.

Men, take from this what you will

I Want You To Live Forever

r

Another song for my nieces. Drew Holcomb (who I'll write about again later today). Wrote this song about his nieces and nephews. So Ryland and Brenley, because you're aunt can't write, sing OR play like Drew, here is a secondhand song from him to me to you.

This is my job:

But without:

Terror on the Loose

ok..that's just funny...

Poor crazy Klaus

..

Life is weird right now. Really weird. I don't feel like myself.

The honeymoon stage of living is Nashville is over, but the "home" stage hasn't come yet. I am in limbo.

I feel like a little kid, pretending to be this adult and it is the most terrifying feeling. I feel like I am floundering in every aspect of my life. Spiritually, relationally, career wise, everything. I know who I want to be, what I want to do, where I want to invest my time, yet I am not being or doing any of those things. My mind is a constant "junk drawer" (you know where you throw everything and it's a complete mess and no matter how hard you try you can make sense of it or organize it for any length of time). I am sure it shows in this blog post, it's kind of all over the place.

Mostly I feel lost. And I don't know where to start, and the joy in things is slipping away, and I don't want it to.

Father, you know my heart better than I do, You know my gifts and desires, and you know my tears. Make this life beautiful, clear out the junk drawer and fill it with you.

Brokenness Aside (Live @ JBU) from Sons & Daughters on Vimeo.

GLB

I Am Your Hiding Place

I knelt, completely broken. The wounds were deep, open, stinging wounds. The blood was washed, the bruises disappeared, my battered body. Fragrant, cleansing oil poured over me. One wound remained, gaping, beaten heart. Cleansed, and bandaged, still there, but healing. The garland was placed in my hair, the linen was draped over my shoulders. He pulled me to my feet. I stood before him, and with his thumb, in oil, he wrote on my forehead the word "beauty". A washbowl with a towel was placed in my hands. Purpose, to bring beauty to those who are afflicted. I was taken away, his strong arms encircled about me. A fortress, "I am your security" he firmly said. "This is where I want you to be. With me, right here...safe. I am your hiding place."



How great is his goodness to me. How far he has brought me. How safe he has kept me.

Christmas Festivities

Please enter into the ridiculous world that is my friends: