Gumption

Thats what i finally got....i got enough of it to let go of something i had been hanging onto for over a year, something that was suffocating me, controlling me. And i cut the cord, for good this time..its really over.

So this is my last week in Cali...its totally bittersweet!!!! I am going to miss soo many things. Here is a list:
The Neighborhood Cup(my job)
The beach
Britnay
Chad
The smell of the air here
perferct not too hot sunny days
Josh
Ryanne and Jonathan
Isaac
Saddleback
being able to drive next to the ocean
not having humidity

But i am really glad to be going home, here are things i am looking forward to:
My parents
my room
seeing my dog!!
KELLORY!!!
my pool
seeing Rachel all the time
Weddings
Falls Creek
my bed!!!!!!!!!!!!
all my friends
my tv
air conditioning
having food in the house
home cooked meals

This trip has been amazing, I have learned so much and grown so much!! Even though it has had its really rough points it's all been worth it! I"m GOING TO MISS IT!!!!!!!!!!

Poker face

Tonight after i got back from work, the people im living with were playing poker..i joined in, we played Texas Hold Em for 3 hours!! It was soooo fun, mostly because we were all so tired everything was really funny(it was 2 in the morning when we stopped). It was down to me and their son Chad, we both went all in and he barely beat me..it was a good game, I had forgotten how much i like poker.
This game also got me to thinking...we put on poker faces sooo often in our everyday lives. We bottle up how we are really feeling inside and put on an act, either or happiness or sadness, or like we just don't care. Why do we do this so often, why do we hide who we are? I know there are some times you have to put what your feeling aside and do what needs to be done. But we even do it in front or for the ones we are closest too, or want to be close to. I find myself doing it soo many times a day and get frustrated with myself for hiding so many things. So what if he knows how much i care, or she knows I'm hurting about something. Thats is what God put other people on this earth for, so that we could be there for each other. So let someone know how you are really feeling, REALLY feeling. No masks, no filters.

Soundtrack

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
REMEMBER, DON'T CHEAT!
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, iPaq etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you’re cool...

1) Opening Credits:
The Sun Shines on Everything- Jason Reeves


2) Waking Up:
You should be dancing-blake lewis


3) First Day of School:
Fly-Tyrone Wells

4) Falling in Love:
Sea Breeze-Tyrone Wells

5) Fight Song:
Wish You Were Here-Radiohead


6) Break Up Song:
Vulnerable-Secondhand Serenade


7) Prom:
Remember to Breathe-Dashboard Confessional


8) Life:
You Don't Know Me-Micheal Buble(oh so true)


9) Mental Breakdown:
Letting You Go-Faktion


10) Driving:
High and Dry-Radiohead


11) Flashback:
After All-Jonathan Clay

12) Wedding:
A page is turned- Bebo Norman(quite appropriate)


13) Birth of a Child:
Trouble Sleeping-Corrine Bailey Rae(hahaha)

14) Final Battle:
Everywhere-Micheal Buble(lame)


15)Death Scene:
Take My Breath Away-Copeland(hmm)


16)Funeral Song:
A Day To Be Alone-One Less Reason



17)End Credits: Just Tonight-Jimmy Eat World

So much better

Tonight at work me and my co-worker were talking about stuff that had happened in our past (it was a slow night at first) and it FINALLY really hit me...I deserve SO much more than I had. I deserve to be treated like a princess and i know that sounds cliche but it's the truth. To be cherished, and told often. NO longer am I settling, in any aspect of my life. So, ya..

I Decided

I decided 10 things today...
1. I need a haircut and it dyed again
2. there are a lot of really lame movies out there.
3. I really love Dulce De Leche cheesecake
4. I want my tattoo REALLY bad!!
5. when people think of me and let me know, it makes me smile
6.Really good movies can make me cry
7.When I love, its forever
8. I enjoy wearing casual dresses
9. I have really great friends
10. Music says it best

I think he has them fooled..
Silly Polar bear

What to do, what to do

If you want something, if it makes you smile. Do you go for it no matter what? What if it's risky..scary...and it could end badly? Do you take the risk and just go for it? OR be really cautious and weigh your options? What if you people tell you not to. Listen to them? or you?

Just some questions i've been having.