Day 2

Something I'm good at:

I'm really good getting entirely too invested in a tv show. I can't help it. I get totally sucked in and all of a sudden I feel like I know the characters and can't wait to see what happens to them next and when it's over, I mourn the fact that I no longer have those "people" to learn about any more (am I sounding like a crazy person yet?)

Here is my step by step tutorial on how to get too addicted to a show:

1. Carefully pick out your new obsession (LOST, Friday Night Lights, New Girl, Alias, Pysch, Once Upon A Time are a few examples)

2. Watch the pilot episode and get completely sucked in.

3. Continue to watch episode after episode until you forget you actually live in the real world.

4. Become extremely invested in the characters. Laugh with them, cry with them, yell at them etc.

5. Cancel all plans because you have your tv friends to hang out with that night.

6. Stop before the final episode because you're just not emotionally ready to say goodbye yet.

7. Finally settle in to watch that last, emotionally taxing episode and cry when the credits roll.

8. Mourn over the loss of your close friends, wonder what they are doing now and wish you could see them again.

9. Walk back into society and pretend that you are just a normal person.


And that's it folks! Enjoy your new skill!!!

Blog Everyday in May: Day 1

I am going to try and do this "blog every day in May" challenge. I'm a few days behind so bare with me while I catch up. Day one is to tell my story in 250 words or less, so here we go....

I was born in Albuquerque, NM but we moved to McAlester, OK when I was 11, that is what I consider home. Growing up in a small town had it's ups and downs but looking back, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I lived in the country, went to a small Christian high school where everyone was like family, I could never go to Wal Mart without seeing someone I know, I was involved in everything possible at our church and I loved every second of it.

After I graduated high school I went to school at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, AR. I majored in Public Relations and was really involved in a group called BLUE which was responsible for bringing all the concerts to campus, my senior year I ended up being the director. College was a time of discovery for me. I found friends, I found my love for music and live shows, I found heartbreak and healing. I found my faith, I found me. 

After college I moved to Nashville in hopes of being in the music industry. After a couple years of things not turing out how I planned I finally ended up back in the industry, in the most unlikely of ways. I've had my ups and downs with Nashville, but in the end it has given me so much. It has brought me the most wonderful man I have ever met, and a life with him. I can't wait to see what else it brings. 

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A good cry.

A good cry can heal so many things.

So can a listening ear and a strong shoulder to cry on.

A man who desperately wants to listen to you, to talk you through it, to hold you while you cry and to tell you how much he loves you when you've finally pulled it somewhat together.

Yes, these things are healing.

The easy and the perfect

I am sitting at my small kitchen table nestled in the bay window watching the last snow I'll see till next year fall outside the window.  I'm sipping my chai tea as a new band plays through my speakers. The scene is peaceful, yet inside I feel chaos.

I think about the things I said, the things I should have said, the fear and the doubt and the struggle to let go of my desire for control. Support, full "I'm behind you no matter what" support is hard. It's beautiful but it's not easy, especially when it messes with the perfect scenes you expected your life to play.

But that's just it, those words, "easy", "perfect", do they really exist? If they do, are they really the best words I want to describe my life? If someone asked me the words you would want to describe me and my life would "perfect" and "easy" really be on the list? Or would words like "adventure" and "courage" and "faithful" and "joyful" and "meaningful" and "full of love" be what I would choose. In order to get words like that, I have to let go. I have to open my clinched fist and give over the "perfect" and the "easy"and that can get messy. The struggle to let go is never pretty, and you often do things you regret in the midst of it. I'm learning that the hard way and I am so thankful that those in my life show me such grace when I've made a fool of myself.

So today,  I start loosing that death grip. I decide choosing to be faithful and courageous during this adventure and to find joy and meaning in the "todays' instead of the "tomorrows". I believe that this will allow me to have a life full of real love, instead of storybook love, it will allow me to be more fully aware of the loving and guiding hand of my Saviour, and force me to lean heavily on Him. It will paint a more beautiful and fulfilling life.

So, so long to easy and perfect (it's still hard to make my fingers type those words, they are reluctant to let go...) in the long run, you will not be missed.

A Day of Love

Valentines Day. A day people either love or they HATE. I see so many people getting all in a tizzy one way or the other about this day. Here are my thoughts on it. Yes. It's silly and probably a little bit of a marketing holiday, and no, you should not need just one day to tell the people you love, you love them. BUT everyone needs a little silly in their lives and shoot, who is really going to complain about a holiday where you are encouraged to eat candy in the name of love?! And, yes, you should tell those you love them that you do all the time and do sweet things for them often, but why shouldn't we take one day a year and just go all out for the people we love. Whether you are in a relationship or not. It is so easy to get caught up in life, that it is nice to have a day where you are reminded to make those special people feel special. Why wouldn't you want to celebrate them? SO that's my thought on it all. Join in on the silly-ness and celebrate the people you love. I love this day and I am not ashamed.

I say all that, even though today I was a little bitter because Steve is 500 miles away. BUT even with that distance, he still made me feel so loved and appreciated today. I woke up to a sweet text and continued to get them through out the day. There was lots of wishing we could be together but also lots of promises to make it up with our own awesome self made holiday when he gets back. Then I came home to seriously the sweetest, most adorable, wonderful e-card I have ever seen in my life. It was the perfect combination of funny and incredibly sweet and heart felt. I have already watched it like 5 times. The night will end with a Skype date and we will kiss this LOVE filled holiday goodbye. Under the circumstances I'd say today was a pretty good Valentines day.

The Next 10 Days

Tonight, with tear filled eyes (I can't help it, I HATE goodbyes) I said goodbye to Steve for the next 10 days.

Steve has mono and is going up to Michigan to see his doctors and to be taken care of by his momma (let's be honest, no one can take care of you like your mom). We are really praying that he will not need to be up there for the whole 10 days and that he will soon be feeling better and on his way back to me. 

Let's not even talk about the fact that he is leaving the day BEFORE Valentines Day. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand Valentines Day is a silly holiday and I don't need one day to celebrate the fact that I am in love, but let's be honest. I love holidays, silly or not. I like to celebrate and it just sucks that the boy I love will be 529 miles away....

Needless to say, these next 10 days are not going to be easy ones. am going to miss that boy like crazy. I am going to do my best to fill my days with things that I have let go by the wayside lately (you know, like laundry). This little blog is definitely on that list. I just hope I can think up enough things to do so that this time goes by at a less miserable rate. 

Monday Means...

Monday morning.
Monday means, laying in bed wondering how long I can put off actually getting up.
Monday means, messy hair styles and comfy clothes.
Monday means, morning meetings and lots of coffee.
Monday means, longing for the weekend you just left behind.
Monday means, a new week of possibilities.
Monday means, even when life is hard, it goes on.

Happy Monday everyone!