Life Lately (Photo Heavy)

-Walks in the park
- My birthday present from Steve (a hidden alarm under my bed that played him singing a happy birthday song he wrote)
- My birthday coffee mug
- Our small group Christmas Party

Love is hard. This is what I'm learning. It's wonderful and fun and exciting but it changes everything. And yes that may sound like common sense, but there is a difference in "knowing" something and being right in the middle of it. This last week was my first lesson. The first time juggling friends and boy became a problem. The first time I messed up and had to apologize. The first time I didn't walk away from him with a smile on my face. The first time he called to fix things. The first of many I'm sure. Communication is going to be the hardest lesson for me to learn. But learning I am. It's a good thing he's so wonderful and patient.

I've been gone for a little while. So let's catch up. Life has been so good. This past week there has been multiple Christmas parties with some of my favorite friends in the world, lessons learned, and a Dave Barnes Christmas concert. And this coming week holds fun things as well.

Crazy Stupid love

So I might be a little late to the party, but I just watched this last night. And I must tell you, I LOVED it. Forget the fact that it has Ryan Gosling in it (ok, don't forget it, cause I mean c'mon, look at him). This movie is wonderful. It's funny, heart-warming, and real. Steve Carell is just as funny as ever and all I want is for Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone is be in love in real life because they are the most adorable thing on the planet.
But seriously, if you haven't seen it, get up right now, go to Redbox and watch it. And then buy it, and watch it everyday for the rest of your life (too much?)

Crazy Beautiful Life

Man it has been a crazy week. Monday night I ended up being at the ER until around 3 with Steve. He got food poisoning from some chicken he cooked that night. Guys, it was the most horrible thing ever. He threw up about 30 times in like 2 hours ( gross I know). I've never seen any that sick. I surprised myself and handled it fairly well. I always thought I wouldn't be able to handle being around someone who was throwing up. But when it came down to it, it didn't bother me at all. So, go me? Anyway, that's a gross topic, so moving on. He ended up getting an IV so he could get hydrated and some meds to make him stop throwing up and let him sleep. It was a long night. He's still in recovery mode, mostly just tired all of the time. So, send some prayers his way. He goes on the road this weekend to play a couple shows and needs all the energy he can get.

The rest of the week has been doing all I can to take care of him and getting ready for Christmas parties galore. Tonight our small group is putting on a Christmas party/fund raiser for an organization in Africa called Muzungu Mama Ministries (http://www.lightinguganda.com/).It's going to be pretty fancy and today I went and bought myself a new little black dress for the occasion. I'm a little sad Steve will be out of town for the party, but I've been going to parties alone for 23 years I suppose I can go to one more. :)

Life is good. I'm a happy happy girl.

The Fight

I promise to fight.

I promise to fight the doubts, the questions, 

the gripping knot in my stomach

the Fear.

I promise to fight the self doubt, 

the sinking feeling every morning that this might be the day it ends.

I know its unwarranted, that I have no reason to feel this way

but sometimes it overwhelms me 

But I promise you this. 

I will fight it.

With all that I am 

Baby I'll fight, if you will.  

Happy List

My list of happy for the day:
1. A church where I constantly leave challenged and refreshed
2. A small group that has become my family. People to do life with, to dig into the word with, to pray with.
3. A warm office to work in on a rainy day
4. A rainy day
5. Texts from a boy that make me laugh out loud
6. My parents come into town TOMORROW for Thanksgiving.
7. Getting to the end of a good book
8.  The promise that my house is going to smell delicious
9. Space heaters
10. Being reminded that this life is a gift. Every moment, every job, every relationship, every thing I have is a gift and I am not owed on bit of it, yet God's goodness has blessed me with all of it. For that I am grateful.

{}

So...there's this boy....

&

he makes me smile....



(it's strange, and yet not strange at all, when your best friend suddenly becomes more.)

So here's to taking a chance.

Hunger Games

Guys. GUYS! Oh my goodness this is going to be amazing.

Changes....big changes.

There are butterflies, and smiles and that is a bigger deal than it may seem.

November

It's November. I love November. Here are some reasons why:
1. The weather is the perfect mixture of warm and cold days
2. The colors of the leaves change, and here in Tennessee, it's gorgeous
3. You can smell fall in the air every time you walk outside
4. Hot drinks and big sweaters
5. Reading by the fire
6. Layers layers layers
7. scarves almost daily
8. Thanksgiving
9. The promise of seeing family
10.Constantly burning fall candles
11. Holiday Themed TV shows
12. Fixing soup for dinner every chance I get
13. The feeling of a fresh start. I don't know what it is about fall but it always seems to hold so much promise.

Drive All Night

Last night I went to another Needtobreathe show with a few of my favorite people. We road tripped it up to Chattanooga to get another fix. I have seen this band 7 times. I will never sick of seeing them. I think I could see them once a week for the rest of my life and never tire of it.

Needtobreathe puts on a special show. It's the kind of show where you wish you could freeze each moment and relive it over and over. Passion just flows out and every bend of the guitar string is dripping with soul. These boys believe in music, they believe it's powerful and magical and it shows.  They move you, they inspire you, because they believe in what they do.  They are also the epitome of cool, I think every person in the venue has a crush of every member of the band by the time the show is over. They really are something special. I would strongly encourage you to get to a show if you ever have the chance. You won't regret it (well you might regret how much you fall in love and how instantly obsessed you are, but probably not)

Tounge Tied

Blond hair

Broad shoulders

Side smile and ice blue eyes

Will be the death of me

I swear

This was fun

Type these words into your music library and name the first song that appears


Happy: Happy Christmas (War Is Over) - David Story Love:  Make You Feel My Love- Adele 
Light: All Those Pretty Lights - Andrew Belle
Dark: Dark Hotel- K.S. Rhoads
Good: The Feel Good Drag- Anberlin
Bad: Bad Kids- The Black Lips
Smile: Smile- Stephen Speaks
Cry: Laugh So You Don't Cry -Andy Davis
Girl: Hey Girl- Dashboard Confessional
Boy: My Boy Builds Coffins- Florence and The Machines 

"Why am I afraid to dance, I who love 
music and rhythm and grace and song 
and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, 
I who love life and the beauty of the flesh 
and the living colors of the earth and sky 
and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who 
love love love?"


Eugene O'Neill

"I'm tired of justifying....the fight for you is all I've every known..."

There is this band.

This one band that I happen to really like

But one that I am always hesitant to listen to

You see they remind me of you

And I'm afraid you'll sneak back in

That through the lyrics and melodies 

I'll let my guard down by accident 

and you will flood in and take over again

Your name flows through their words, each note

And I can't let you back in

I can't survive it.

So every time I hear their familiar songs on I close my eyes and prepare for you

I fight back memories 

I try to focus solely on the music

and sometimes I am not up to the fight

and I simply sigh and change the song

Today though, today I don't mind the battle.

Just Remember

My small group is doing a 30 day Scripture Challenge as a part of our series as church. Basically we are just committing to dive into the word everyday. It doesn't matter what you read or how much read, just that you read every day. Then we have an e-mail thread and we e-mail each other every day with what we are reading and what we are learning from it. It's been so awesome to not only have that accountability but also to see what everyone is learning and to learn from that as well. To grow together through the scriptures.

Anyway I read Ephesians 1 yesterday and thought I would share what I shared with my small group.

I feel like I am in a funk and a little life crisis. Nothing that everyone doesn't go through, but tough still the same. I feel a little lost in my own life. Like I don't have direction any more. I came to Nashville with such direction. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and the industry I was going to be in. Music. There was no question in my mind that it was going to work out. Well it turns out it's been a little harder than I thought and things just haven't worked out. What I used to be so set on I now have given up on for the time being. The passion that so consumed my life and heart now seems to be burning out. And friends, that's scary. It's scary when what you've planned on doing doesn't happen. You have questions like "Well what do I do now? What can I do now? I don't know how to do anything else. I'm not good at anything else." and even "Who am I? Now that I don't have this thing that I thought would define me, what do I have?" that last question is silly, but it still gets asked. So when I read Ephesians 1 it gave me a huge reminder.

 I wish I could just copy and paste the whole thing onto here. But that would be really long, and silly. So I'll just tell you a little about it...

 Paul is telling the people about the spiritual blessings they receive in Christ. It starts off by saying "Praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." Every spiritual blessing. That. Is. Cool.

 Then he goes on to talk about how God chose us before the beginning of time, how in love he predestined us to be his, to be adopted. How he gave us Christ for forgiveness and redemption, for his pleasure and will. He ends the section by saying: "Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory." I don't know about you guys, but that gives me chills every time. 

 I needed desperately to be reminded who I am. Whose I am. It's so basic but it's so easy for me to lose sight of. What a miracle it is that God choose me, he predestined  my heart to be his. I have been given every spiritual blessing in Christ, in love. I am filled with the Holy Spirit and the power that comes with that. I am God's daughter. There is great purpose in that. No matter what my days are filled with, job wise, relationship wise, I have quite a calling and quite an identity and I need to rest in that. 

Lately

Here are some pics of what life looks like lately:

 Wine with Dinner

 Sweet time in the Word. 

 Fun fall outfits and new glasses 

 INcredible Needtobreathe Secret Show. Swoon

 Waiting in line in the rain for the Needtobreathe show. LOVE these girls 

 Baby girl's second birthday. And her DIGGING into that cupcake. Like a boss

 My nieces bring me so much joy 

 Lyric texts from my dear friend

Tea in my Dallas Texas mug. 

Life is sweet 

Things that make me seriously happy:

-restoration of friendships
-OU football
-the chill in the fall night
-the smell of bonfire in the air that always seems to come with the fall
-candles burning in the house
-laughing with girl friends until you cry
-a glass of wine with dinner

Steve Jobs

‎"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." --Steve Jobs 


‎"...because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs







Thank you for all you did Steve.


Today, I'm inspired. 

Learn

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Awkward and Awesome

Awkward:
- Jokingly calling your friend your Sugar Daddy and having the old lady at the table next to you give you the stink eye. Chill lady, he's not really my sugar daddy, see look, I'm paying for my own lunch.
- All of a sudden being able/ready to take a nap at ALL TIMES. Seriously, for the past week I don't think there has been a time during the day I didn't have full confidence I could take a long meaningful nap.
- Walking by a couple who decided to have their "what is going wrong in our relationship" talk on a park bench out in the middle of everyone...it was like a train wreck, so hard to look away. Seriously people, go inside, or in your car, anywhere that innocent bystanders will not get sucked into your relationship drama.
-  Watching a football game at a sports bar and having the waitress come over and say "Honey you're not watching this right?" as if there was no way I actually knew what a football looked like. Why yes mam'm I AM watching that game, if fact I was the one who asked them to put it on this channel.
-The amount of time I spent and the difficulty I had at picking the below picture of Ryan Gosling

Awesome:
-How much my group of friends is obsessed with the new Needtobreathe album. We might all run away together and travel the country soon if we aren't careful.
- Having one of your friends tell you "I need you guys, I just feel better about things when I'm with ya'll. When I don't see you for a week it's like my life starts falling apart". It was seriously the sweetest moment.
- Being a part of a group of friends that feels that way about each other.
- Having people point out how much I say "Ya'll". I didn't think my southerness came through very often, but apparently I say it A LOT.....and ya know what I like it.
- Going on a run for the first time in a couple weeks and not collapsing half way through it. I might just become a "runner" yet.
-Spotify. For a poor 20 something who is OBSESSED with music this little gem has saved my life and opened up my listening options x10923789347893
- Ryan Gosling. Right now the man is everywhere, and I could not be more ok with it. SWOOON. Also, this article about him.

Beg the book to turn the page....

Can we talk for a minute about this album? Cause it is ruining my life. I am neglecting all other music, spending too much money on concert tickets, wanting to quit my job and drive around the country. Seriously it's incredible. Please immediately go and get this album. Right now. Go.

Also, could these guys be any cooler/sexy? I think not. My friend Kacie said this when she first heard this new record, "the album might as well be entitled 'We Wrote The Book On Masculinity' " haha. SO. TRUE.

Dear Men, Take Note

Keep Your Eyes Open

Guys. There is so much to catch up on! I hate how much moving has taken over my life. Well, if I'm honest, it's not just the moving. Life has just been craazy. But I have missed this little blog and will be back in full force this week. Here are some things you have to look forward to (for the 3 of you that actually read/care about what I write haha) My move/the new place, A Secret Needtobreathe show in Nashville(seriously the best show I have ever been to), some current thoughts about life/love/faith, awkward/awesome lists and more!

Moving On

Moving Sucks....

Be Back Soon....